“Andrew loved basketball – it was his passion and he was a brilliant player. He liked fashion, trainers in particular, and they had to be kept in pristine condition! He loved his family and when the four of us were together, he was his happiest. He also enjoyed special one-on-one time when it was just me and him where we’d go shopping or for lunch.

Andrew enjoyed going to London – he always said he’d live there when he was older. He loved visiting the designer shops – not that he could ever buy anything! I remember going into Burberry with him when he was about 11 – he had so much fun trying on all the clothes!

One of the highlights of Andrew’s life came about during his treatment, when he was invited to an American NBA game at the O2 in London. Whilst in hospital his Occupational Therapist (Charlotte) created videos of him performing basketball skills in his wheelchair. These were spotted by staff at the London NBA Office on social media. They contacted Charlotte and this developed into Andrew being invited as the VIP guest to the game.

There was six years between Andrew and his younger brother, Thomas, but they adored each other and loved being in each other’s company. Thomas really looked up to Andrew, he felt protected by him and was devoted to his big brother. When Andrew was first unwell, we had to move his bed down to the living room as he was unable to manage the stairs.  He would often ask Thomas if he wanted to have a ‘boys afternoon’, when the two of them would snuggle on the bed together and watch films. They called each other ‘best bro’s’.

When Andrew was 11, he started getting pains in his knee and at the top of his leg. His GP suspected it might be growing pains but given Andrew was also playing a lot of basketball, he was referred for some physio treatment.  This seemed to help, but some months later he started to develop more pain, this time in his hip.

We took him back to the physiotherapist we’d seen previously about his knee. She was quite concerned and arranged an urgent x-ray which showed Andrew had a fracture in his hip. This was considered an unusual injury for someone of Andrew’s age, and he was admitted to Royal Alexandra Children’s Hospital whilst further tests were arranged. These lasted a couple of weeks, before Andrew was transferred to the Royal National Orthopaedic Hospital for a biopsy.  He was then allowed home whilst we waited for the outcome.

It was a Friday morning when I received a call that any parent would dread to take, Andrew had osteosarcoma and his life was about to become a nightmare of treatment. I’d never even heard of osteosarcoma before and had no idea that it was a type of bone cancer.  It is relatively rare but often found in adolescent children, where rapid bone growth can sometimes lead to the development of tumours. We were asked to attend University College London Hospital (UCLH) on the following Monday morning, when treatment was to begin.

We all stayed in London together the night before, and on the Monday morning, Neale, Andrew, Thomas and myself went into the consultant’s room where they talked through Andrew’s treatment plan and what to expect on the ward. This was when everything hit Andrew- I remember tears rolling down his face and Thomas walking over to him and giving him his teddy bear to cuddle.

Andrew was very sick during his first round of chemo and not long after this, he started to get a lot more pain in his hip. It was decided to try and remove the tumour and the top part of his femur sooner than originally planned, effectively resulting in a hip replacement. His chemo continued but further scans showed that the cancer had spread to his chest.

The consultants thought it would be a good idea to give Andrew a break from treatment, so thankful for some respite, we all went to London and stayed at the Hard Rock Hotel. Andrew was in his wheelchair, but he loved that weekend, and we have some fantastic memories from it.

A short while later, in July 2019, Andrew had another scan which revealed more spots on his chest – the cancer was spreading. He continued with chemo and radiotherapy, but eventually we were told there was nothing more they could do. I couldn’t believe it, I wouldn’t believe it.

As well as receiving treatment at UCLH and the Royal Alexandra Hospital, we also spent quite a bit of time at East Surrey Hospital, especially when Andrew needed a blood transfusion, or support if he’d picked up an infection. I’d spotted a Momentum poster on one of the walls in the hospital and had become friendly with other parents who were being supported by the charity who told me about their respite cabins.

I contacted Momentum, and one of their Family Support Workers, Kerrie, came to visit us at home. Kerrie was fantastic with Andrew, they talked about his love of Marvel films and Tom Holland in particular – at the time we didn’t even know Tom was one of the charity’s Ambassadors! Andrew always used to say, he would be best friends with Tom Holland if they went to school together. Kerrie very kindly arranged for Andrew to get a goodie bag full of signed Marvel things from Tom and Andrew sent Tom a video message to say thank you.

At the start of the summer holidays, the boys and I had a yearly tradition of going to Bluewater to buy new school uniform for the following academic year. Andrew picked his new uniform, thinking he would be well enough to go back to school. Just three or four weeks later, on 18 August 2019, Andrew passed away. That very same day, Tom Holland sent Andrew a video message, but sadly I received the video three hours after he died, so Andrew never got to see it.

One thing Neale and I knew we wanted to do was to keep everything as normal as possible for Thomas, and I can honestly say that is what has kept us going. We didn’t want Andrew’s death to be any more traumatic for Thomas than it already was. Thomas has been our pillar of strength.

Thomas has been remarkable through everything. He started senior school in September and goes to the same school that Andrew went to. It was something he was determined to do because he wanted to follow in the footsteps of Andrew, even though none of his friends were going there. The school had previously raised money to buy a new basketball hoop for their playground in Andrew’s memory and it has a plaque on it with Andrew’s name. On Thomas’ first day at school, he spent his break sitting by the basketball hoop.

Since Andrew’s passing, we’ve stayed at Momentum’s cabins a few times. Thomas received a special doorstep visit from Santa, he has had art and music therapy, and Neale and I have had counselling – all arranged by Momentum. It is very reassuring to know Momentum is always there at the end of the phone.

It was Momentum who told me about the idea of setting up a tribute page in Andrew’s memory and we thought it was a lovely way to celebrate Andrew’s life. Memories from before Andrew was unwell are still a bit fuzzy for me, it is difficult to forget all the painful memories from his treatment and just remember the many good times that came before.

Creating the page has brought me a lot of joy though, as it has felt like I have been making a story about Andrew for other people to look at and read, which I have found very comforting. It was also an opportunity to bring those happier memories back to the forefront of my thoughts and help me focus on our time together. Every time we do something in Andrew’s memory, or raise some money, the page is updated. It is great to see how much we have raised over the years too. We will never forget Andrew and hopefully other people won’t either, as they can still look at things like his tribute page.

To other families who have lost a child I would say time itself isn’t necessarily a healer, how can you forget? But time can soften the “sharpest edges” of grief. Don’t have any expectations, put yourself under pressure or feel you must follow anyone’s advice. Go at your own pace and follow your own path – we all grieve in different ways; it is a very personal journey. And remember, Momentum will be there for as long as you need them.”

Find out more about setting up a Precious Moments Tribute Fund here