“Freya was beautiful, both inside and out. She was funny, kind, and very protective of others. If she ever saw someone being treated unfairly, she was the first to stand up for them. She was a talented dancer, a popular girl, and the best friend I could have ever asked for. I had her when I was 19, so we grew up together.  

Freya was diagnosed with asthma at the age of four, though it was never severe. She’d get the occasional chest infection, but nothing more. Freya’s condition worsened as she grew older. On 1st December last year, she had a sudden and severe asthma attack that seemed to come out of nowhere. I called an ambulance, but within ten minutes, she was dead. 

It feels like forever since I saw Freya last, but also like it was only yesterday. When she was growing up, she tried lots of different sports – tennis, gymnastics, basketball, but when she found dance, it just clicked. She was part of a local dance team, and I’d often come home to find she had moved all the furniture to one side of the living room so she could practise her routines. Freya also had a creative side. She loved drawing and pottery painting. Our home is full of her beautiful artwork, which I treasure deeply. 

One of my most special memories with Freya was going to the theatre. We saw Six The Musical together, and Freya said it was the best thing she’d ever seen. She loved Hamilton too, and we’d sing along to the soundtracks in the car. We also loved adventures – trips to Go Ape, shopping, and holidays. 

I cherish memories of our beach visits, particularly to our favourite quiet spot by the sea. Freya loved the water. She’d swim at every opportunity. Some of my most cherished photos are ones we captured on those trips. Freya would ask if we could stay at the beach until sunset – she loved taking pictures of the sunset. Being by the water brings me a lot of comfort and I like to put flowers in the sea for Freya whenever I can. 

Doing things with Freya’s friends has really helped me. Freya has a memorial bench in our local park where we celebrated her birthday in June by having a big picnic. We got some biodegradable balloons and wrote messages for her on them, before letting them off into the sky. Helping Freya’s friends find ways to remember her gives me a sense of purpose and knowing that her memory will live on through them brings an incredible amount of comfort. One of our yearly traditions on her birthday was to take a 6am trip to Starbucks and come home to have birthday cake for breakfast. I will continue to do this for Freya every year. 

Last Christmas was my first one without Freya, it was just a few weeks after she died. I hid away and couldn’t face doing anything. This year, it still doesn’t feel right celebrating Christmas. Every year Freya would use her own money to fill a shoebox with gifts for a children’s charity – something I would like to continue to do. 

I was referred to Momentum’s bereavement service, Echoes, by my family liaison nurses. I went along to one of their coffee mornings with other bereaved mums. I was terrified as it was the first time I would be meeting other bereaved parents, but once I got there, it felt so nice to be with other mums who knew what I was going through. I felt comfortable talking about Freya – it was like a weight had been lifted. It has helped me to be around other parents who ‘get it’ and know what I am going through.

I’ve been on a craft and cruise evening on Momentum’s riverboat and have stayed in touch with some of the other mums I have met through the charity. Momentum has provided much-needed comfort. Vanessa from their bereavement team visited Freya’s bench with me and brought a hand-painted pebble with a sunset on it – a thoughtful and personal gesture. For Freya’s birthday, they contributed towards flowers for her bench, which meant so much. On the first anniversary of Freya’s death, at the beginning of December, I am going to stay at one of Momentum’s lodges with my sister and close friends. I know it will be better for me to be away from everything, and I feel at peace and calm when I am outside surrounded by nature. 

Going back to work as a teacher has really helped me and given me a reason to get out of bed every day. The whole school community have been amazing and so supportive through everything. 

My message for other parents that have been bereaved would be that grief is about you – it is your own journey that you need to navigate. Tell people what you need from them, don’t be afraid to ask for help and get people to do the things you can’t face doing. Friends and family want to help so let them. My sister Holly suggested having a list of things that people could do for me to make asking for help less uncomfortable. She continues to be the strongest support, and I am beyond grateful to have her.  

Child loss for me is about navigating this new life whilst still honouring my child’s memory – a second life. The most important part of me is gone, and now I have to figure out who I am without Freya.”