“When Harry died, we were assigned a Support Worker from the local council. She told us about Momentum and put us in touch with their bereavement support service, Echoes.

Prior to this, we had received support from other services, but nothing quite fitted what we needed. It feels like Momentum understands what bereaved families need, which is to meet other families who have been through similar experiences, to keep talking about your loved ones, and to have face-to-face support.

Harry died on Sunday 30 July 2023, eight months ago now, but it still feels like last week. His death was unexplained – he went to bed as normal on the Saturday night and didn’t wake the next morning. We thought it was odd when Harry hadn’t woken at his normal time, so my husband went in to check on him. I tried to do CPR on Harry but there was no chance – he had gone.

Five months after Harry’s death there was an inquest and postmortem and on probability, they concluded that it was likely he had a seizure. It all still feels like a bit of an unknown. My eldest son, Jonny, 16, is having genetic testing to check there is nothing underlying.

Jonny has been a real trooper through everything – his school friends have been amazing and have tried to keep things as normal as possible for him, they are very protective.

Harry was a huge personality – he was a one-off, cheeky, charming, kind and clever boy with a lot of friends. He played rugby for London Irish Amateur RFC since he was five years old, and was a fantastic, versatile player who really got stuck into every game. His skills on the pitch had been recognised and he was about to do a trial for both Harlequins and London Irish Academy. Harry’s teammates on the U14 team have his initials on their rugby shirts and some have them on their shoes too.

We had just bought him an annual pass for Thorpe Park which he loved! We would drop him off and he would spend the day there with his friends – he was really enjoying his independence. Harry had expensive taste in clothes, he loved shopping at Westfield, especially for Nike trainers! He is buried wearing his favourite pair of Nikes.

The ‘firsts’ without Harry are really hard – first birthdays, first Christmas, first Easter – all the special family occasions. Harry’s bedroom has not changed and I still have all his belongings by the back door. We are not ready to move anything yet, it still feels very raw.

The whole experience has been awful and very traumatic, but we remember Harry every day. We always have a candle lit in the house, and we have Harry’s handprint set in a cast. We have set up a Precious Moments Tribute Fund to remember Harry and for family and friends to share photos, videos, and memories. It helps me to hear Harry’s voice and watch videos of him.

Harry is buried at a local cemetery in a lovely spot where the sun shines. There is a beautiful tree there with wind chimes, and when the wind blows, it feels like Harry is talking to me. I visit him every day.

We now have a puppy, a gorgeous Golden Retriever, who has helped us all with energy and getting routine back in our lives.

Harry’s brother, Jonny, has received counselling which was set up through Momentum. He was reluctant to attend, however, we all feel it helped knowing he was supported and had been seen by a professional to assess him.

Momentum very kindly arranged for Jonny to have a birthday meal at Poor Boys restaurant for his 16th birthday.  It was our first time going out just the three of us and it made making the decision to go much easier.
Momentum also held a candle making event in December which I attended, and it helped me get through the run up to Christmas.  My husband Ben recently attended a dinner with other bereaved dads, something also arranged by Momentum.

Our Momentum Family Support Worker is in touch every fortnight to check in and we will take up the offer of using Momentum’s Riverboat in the summer. 

I have been in touch with other bereaved mums to create a support group, especially during the holiday events. Our families, friends, neighbours, and London Irish have been so supportive in checking in on us and making sure we get out and about.

We are having a celebration day on the anniversary of Harry’s death at the Hazelwood Centre at London Irish in August. We want to say thank you to everyone who has supported us through this awful year and would like people to remember Harry and share stories about him.

In January, we held a 10KM sponsored walk at Bushy Park. Over 100 people took part, raising more than £12,000 for Momentum and CRY charity. We are organising a heart screening for young people in November. The event will take place at London Irish rugby ground, and we hope to screen 100 young people. Although Harry didn’t die of a heart condition, it has become apparent to us how important health checks are for young people.

We are in contact with the Sudden Unexplained Death in Childhood Foundation (SUDC) – this is the charity that will raise awareness of how Harry died, and they have put us in touch with other parents in the same situation.

No parents should ever go through the death of their child alone. It can feel scary and unreal, however there is support out there. If you are recently bereaved, please ask for help.  Whilst grief and trauma can feel very lonely and isolating, Momentum and other support services can tailor their support for you and your family.   A tragic event like this ripples out, and people want to help, however they don’t always know what to do or say.  Momentum does and can.”