“Jessica is a bright, outgoing, busy girl. She is very sporty and loves gymnastics and swimming, she also enjoys reading and is a real bookworm!

It was my wife, Lauren, who first noticed something was not right with Jessica – amongst other smaller signs, she started getting bruises on random parts of her body – they would just pop up, as if out of nowhere. Lauren took Jessica to the GP a couple of times, and even asked if it could be something serious, but we were told ‘children that young don’t get serious illnesses like cancer.’ In the end, we demanded a blood test.

We were immediately referred to Frimley Park Hospital as there wasn’t space in our local hospital, St. Peter’s. When we got the blood test results it was the worst day of our lives – being told your child has cancer is one of the worst things you could ever hear as a parent. I felt sick, and my wife was distraught.

We were transferred to Southampton General Hospital where we received Jessica’s official diagnosis of CML, and they put her treatment plan together. Jessica was monitored for two weeks and we were then transferred to The Royal Marsden Hospital in Sutton. It took a while to get everything in place, as the type of cancer Jessica has is very rare in children.

Jessica’s treatment is oral chemotherapy, which was administered through a tube into her nose, but now she has tablets which she can swallow. We spent a over a week in The Royal Marsden, and then started administering the medication at home, daily, for over a year, before Jessica was able to transfer to the tablet form. In addition, there is other medication Jessica takes to combat some of the side effects from the chemotherapy. There is a chance Jessica might have to take medication for life – at this stage we just don’t know. Thankfully Jessica has kept most of her hair, it went a bit thin at the start of her treatment, but it has grown back now.

At the time of Jessica’s diagnosis, I just went into survival mode – I wanted to protect my family and stay positive. Our other daughter, Charlotte, was just 18 months old. I broke down a couple of times, but realised the best way for me to cope, was to step up and make sure I could keep other parts of our life as normal as possible.

My wife’s employer was very understanding, and she stopped working for a while. For me, it was quite different – I’d just started a brand-new career in financial advice and I wasn’t yet fully qualified, so I was on a low salary with limited opportunities to earn more as I wasn’t able to work full time with everything that was going on.  However, the monthly outgoings were still there, and they were creeping up. More money was going out than was coming in and at points I felt like I was sinking.

It was really helpful when someone from The Royal Marsden signposted us to organisations that are available to support families when you are in hospital by giving cash grants to help cover petrol, car parking and lunch costs and we were grateful for their help at that particularly difficult time.

I am not someone who talks about their emotions, I tend to bottle things up and march on. In 2023 I was still very much in the thick of things and did look at some options to help me, but I realised for me, getting on with things was best. Personally, I am someone that doesn’t like to ask others for help – I wanted to do what was needed for my family.

Coming to terms with Jessica’s illness doesn’t get any easier – it all still feels a bit of an unknown as we don’t know if things will develop as her body changes or as advances in medication are made.

At the moment, Jessica is experiencing a lot of problematic side effects, and we feel like we are getting lots of mixed messages from medical professionals at different hospitals. There are often long unexpected stays in hospitals when Jessica has picked up an infection because she is immunosuppressed. This brings stresses as we have to take time off work and find childcare for our younger daughter. There was a period in 2023 where Jessica was in hospital for about a week every month.

There is always that worry in the back of your mind that the cancer will develop – I am not sure that ever goes away as a parent.  

As we move forward, my relationship with my wife is stronger than ever – we are a team. My other daughter, Charlotte, is four now and understands a bit more – she doesn’t get quite so upset when Jessica and Lauren have to leave the house to go to the hospital. However things were very unsettling for her at the time, it was such a lot for a toddler to go through.

We first heard about Momentum when one of their Family Support Workers introduced themselves at St. Peter’s Hospital. Momentum offers something incredibly unique to families, that no other charity does, and they have been a great support to us. The respite breaks at their cabins have been particularly beneficial, and we had a lovely family trip to the New Forest just after Jessica’s feeding tube was removed. This was a real milestone moment and a memorable way to mark it.

We have been on Momentum’s riverboat and have recently enjoyed a family trip to Winter Wonderland in London. I also went to a golf event at Hampton Court Golf Club with other dads who had been through something similar. It was a really nice way to meet others and share our experiences in a non-pressurised environment.

Overall, Jessica is doing well and is not too restricted by anything, unless she picks up a new illness and we have to go through the necessary steps to put things right – we are immensely proud of her in every way.”

Momentum provides support for families for as long as they need us, and we understand that family’s needs can change at different points in their journey. Find out about the range of services we offer here